Today is, frankly, dull. I know something exciting can't happen everyday, but at times I think there is no fate crueler than boredom. I don't want time to think. I've been thinking all summer. Thinking gets me nowhere but depressed. Just commiserating with Billie on the iPod, because "Billie's Blues" is all too familiar. I've been there, and I'm not going back. "Before I'll be your dog, I'll see you in your grave."
So, where do I go from here? Pride, that simple 5 letter word, is keeping from going backwards. I've been going in reverse so long, I don't even know what moving on is. Maybe I could start over, but what do I do? How do I get rid of the baggage that keeps me in one place? Hell, I love that baggage. How to I relegate the past to distant images in the back of my mind? The past may not be much, but it's all I've got. What future do I have? I'm sickly, there are no jobs to be had, and frankly, I dream of death constantly. Between depression and my organs, I wasn't meant to live long. Death would avail me of all these choices. Perhaps that's what would move me forward......see where I go when I think?
-
I've read a lot recently about Mormons posthumously baptizing people of other faiths, like Jews. They have baptized some Shoah victims, ...
-
These are Ronald Bueno and Gavin Lavalley, 2 players for the Dayton Dragons. Rick is taking me to a Dragons game tomorrow evening. It ...
No comments:
Post a Comment