"On a no-news-is-good-news, middle-of-mid-year day...."

Started to write this day my daily blog, and gave up. For one, I really have nothing to say. For another, I was dizzy. Well, I took care of the dizziness my going to Wendy's and getting something to eat, but I still can't think of anything to blog about. Life is so boring, it's ridiculous. I did get invited into a neat group on Facebook the other day- Big Bellas of the US. I try not to let my size define who I am, but let's face it- when you weigh more than 150 lbs, there's no way around it. If you ask me, being a stick is unnatural for most women, and unattainable for many. I have too many health problems to deny myself food. I know what it feels like to be sick every time you eat, so if I can eat, I do. Last summer I lost about 25 lbs to Bush-Chiari Syndrome. I'm glad I finally feel better and am able to eat normally again. My team of doctors disagrees, but they can fuck off. Life is too short to count calories, but at the same time, no one was meant to live forever. I'd rather live to 60 on my terms than eat twigs and be 90. My nonna was a nurse, and led a "healthy" lifestyle. Yeah, her body is alive still, but she's gone through a lot with dementia. Quality of life means as much as quantity of life. I'm sick of thinking of my life as a prison sentence. So I broke up with my girlfriend. I'm actually better off now- she was abusive, and I'm tired of believing that's all I deserve. The good times were great, but the bad times almost literally killed me. I need to move on. "My life is more than a vision- the sweetest part is acting after making a decision." If I want to lay down and die, I can, but why would I want that? There's too much out there. I just need to figure out how to break out of this rut. I owe it to myself.