Strange Little Girl.......

What a perfectly horrid mess the past 24 hours has been!  Learning that people will draw you in, vampirically suck you dry, and then leave you for dead....not a fun lesson to learn. Most people only want what you can give them, on their terms. If you refuse, balk, or otherwise irritate them, they will find someone else to use. There is no such thing as a friend or lover. Nothing is unconditional. Selflessness is a cruel fairy tale. I made love my god, and realise now, I am only safe by myself. I am sentenced to 30 years of this monotony, 30 years solitary confinement. My mind is all I have, and it will grow dull eventually. And at 60, my body will fail, and I will be free. I look forward to that day, but know I cannot hasten it. I have to live out my punishment. I believed in other people, and I lost the bet. May other idealistic little girls not fall prey to the same gamble. Disillusionment is the worst pain I've ever known.