Waiting for November

In quite a depressed state, but not sure why. For one thing, I have no money until my check comes in for next month. Also, certain things in my life just don't seem to......fit. I feel like things aren't really working out in a lot of ways. I'm just too scared to move forward, when it could just be my perception. How does one live with mental illness? It's a delicate balance between wondering if you can trust how you feel, and convincing other people you're not "that crazy." I'm not drooling, I'm not an axe murderer, etc. Oh, yeah, and I'm not a "drama queen." Mental illness is the last safe refuge of bigotry. In being an overweight, bipolar woman, I have seen the worst in humanity. That, and doing political work. I swear, I was hung up on about 30 times tonight, phone banking. Anyway.....October is almost over, thankfully. Not a month I have fond memories of, this year....Hopefully, November will be a little bit better.