This night has been such a fucking roller coaster. I was a little down, so I went tanning, which brought me up. Then, stupid me, I had a drink on the way home, and got really depressed. I just get so sick of it. Why am I always alone? I have friends, I guess, but it seems either they can't ever do anything (for reasons which I understand) or they just have no interest in seeing me. I get token texts and stuff, but if I want a conversation, I call my mom. And if I want to go anywhere, I go alone. And I don't think anyone in my life is going to change. So......this is it. I either live like this, or I don't. I really don't like interacting with other people very much to begin with. There are a select few people in my life I thought were there for me, and it turns out they aren't. I don't want to go out and meet new people. That's stupid. It would just be more of the same. I feel very stuck. So, I'm crawling back beneath my rock. Please don't expect me to reach out from underneath again.
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