Winter

I have reached the bursting point for the second time in the past 3 months. I am severely depressed. It gets old after awhile, fighting 3 major, chronic illnesses. But veno-occlusive disease and endometriosis are nothing in comparison to the other one- bipolar disorder. I am tired of feeling helpless while the President and Congress cut my benefits (I'm barely surviving on what I get now. I live far below the poverty line). I hate where I live, but it's the only housing I can afford. I would like to go back to living with my parents. Their petty tyranny is irritating, but I don't have anyone else. I have no reason to leave the house, and I haven't the means to get anywhere my ailing body can't walk. I am completely alone, and while I know I can be a strain on my parents, I honestly don't have anyone else. My so-called fiance prefers her precious solitude, and I accept that. Hell, I wish I were the same way. I haven't got any other friends. Where would I make friends? I am a recluse. Not by choice, but by necessity. So I guess everyone expects me to go mad here in my isolation, and kill myself. Do I even have a say in the matter? I refuse to live like this. I refuse! There is no dignity in this hell. I am just one of society's forgotten, ,I suppose. How did I get here? Even I haven't a clue.