Family Ties

Shit. I just posted a blog (although it was dull) and changed a few settings, and blam! Gone. I forgot to save it.  Oh, well. I still have no idea what to write about, tonight. I'd like to get off the damn computer by midnight, so I can get up earlier. Maybe I should eat something light. My brain is still going strong. Ok, got up and got chips....let's see....my cousin Alyson announced her pregnancy. I think it's fabulous news, b/c when enough of the "grandchildren" have their own kids, we might stop having communal holidays. My cousin Rachel just had a baby....our family is a bit complicated, though. Mia nonna played favorites in a bad way. Holidays with my father's family were always irritating, b/c I am not one of the chosen. The afore mentioned girls, both born within a year of me, were favorites, and they picked on me mercilessly. Nonna and I have more or less ignored each other my entire life. Even now, I hate seeing those girls. I am summarily left out of all of their conversations, and I am spoken to as condescendingly as possible. Between my mental illness, and lack of a husband, I am ostracized. When the other three girls my age were married, I whined and begged my mother, to no avail, to let me skip the weddings. They were nightmares beyond belief. My cousins are so skinny and perfect, and I looked like a horrendous lump in ill-fitting clothes. Let it be said- I have no problems with any of my male cousins, and I have 2 female cousins who are older, and I adore them (They are also not Nonna's elite). But once Nonna actually dies, I plan on cutting the thin tether that binds me to the three girls my age. We all have a breaking point, and mine is long overdue.