RIP

RIP Ryan Freel (1976-2012). He was one of the great baseball players.

Sometimes I want to say this.......

Goodbye to Love

Today is best summed up by an old Carpenters song.....

"Goodbye to Love"
'll say goodbye to love
No one ever cared if I should live or die
Time and time again the chance for love
has passed me by
And all I know of love
is how to live without it
I just can't seem to find it.

So I've made my mind up I must live
my life alone
And though it's not the easy way
I guess I've always known
I'd say goodbye to love.

There are no tomorrows for this heart of mine
Surely time will lose these bitter memories

And I'll find that there is someone to believe in
And to live for something I could live for.

All the years of useless search
Have finally reached an end
Loneliness and empty days will be my
only friend
From this day love is forgotten
I'll go on as best I can.

What lies in the future
is a mystery to us all
No one can predict the wheel of fortune
as it falls
There may come a time when I will see that
I've been wrong
But for now this is my song.

And it's goodbye to love

I'll say goodbye to love.

Tears Dry On Their Own

This song is on an endless loop in my head.......
"Tears Dry On Their Own"

All I can ever be to you,
Is a darkness that we knew,
And this regret I've got accustomed to,
Once it was so right,
When we were at our high,
Waiting for you in the hotel at night,
I knew I hadn't met my match,
But every moment we could snatch,
I don't know why I got so attached,
It's my responsibility,
And you don't owe nothing to me,
But to walk away I have no capacity

[Chorus:]
He walks away,
The sun goes down,
He takes the day but I'm grown,
And in your way, in this blue shade,
My tears dry on their own,

I don't understand,
Why do I stress A man,
When there's so many bigger things at hand,
We could a never had it all,
We had to hit a wall,
So this is inevitable withdrawal,
Even if I stop wanting you,
A Perspective pushes true,
I'll be some next man's other woman soon,

I shouldn't play myself again,
I should just be my own best friend,
Not fuck myself in the head with stupid men,

[Chorus]

So we are history,
Your shadow covers me
The sky above ablaze,

[Chorus]

I wish I could say no regrets,
And no emotional debts,
Cause as we kiss goodbye the sun sets
So we are history,
The shadow covers me,
The sky above ablaze that lonley lovers see,

[Chorus]

[x2:]
He walks away,
The sun goes down,
He takes the day but I'm grown,
And in your way,
In this deep shade
My tears dry

"Horses"

Tori Amos singing one of my favorites.

Drama

Wow. Tuesday evening was awful. I got a horrid, bigoted form letter from a certain orange-hued person who is prominent in American politics. I'm sorry if he think it's "special rights" that LGBT people not be fired over who they are or who they love.....if he is indeed that delusional. My real guess is that he's catering to the tea party in an election year. Ugh.

Otherwise, all is drama lately, and I'm getting fucking sick of it. When I have to weigh every word I say, I am uncomfortable. If I get uncomfortable enough, I move on.

Me and Nicole

A photo of me and Nicole, sometime last month.