"Peace!"

"What is hateful to yourself, do not do to your fellow man. That is the whole Torah; the rest is just commentary. Go and study it." (Talmud Shabbat 31a)
"The worshippers of the All-Merciful are they who tread gently upon the earth, and when the ignorant address them, they reply, “Peace!” (Quran25:63:)
These are my responses to the bigots of the world, especially on Care2. I love how they feel they have to personally insult me to make their point, or accuse me of lying because I have a difference perspective. I have one word for them: BAAAAAA!

No truer words spoken.

My uselesss, worthless babble

It's two am, at least, and I am wide awake but weary of the world. Why is it that beauty and love are so entwined? Like only people born a certain way are worthy. To be a beauty, and thus, a worthy human being, I would need extensive plastic surgery and to lose at least 80 lbs. I haven't gotten the money, and with my health problems, past and present, I'm not even sure I could lose all that weight. I can only do limited exercise, and from medications, bulimia, and old age, my metabolism is shot. Thus, my love life is doomed. I will always be alone, pretending to be fulfilled by friendships and reading and gardening, and all those other things pathetic old maids do. I will get desperate, and be horribly used and abused until I'm not even good for that.
I've never known love. My family is ashamed I exist. I am a worry and a bother. No one has ever been in love with me. I was always used for sex or money or whatever. Those things never last long. I have spent my youth as a disgraceful whore. I rarely went out with the same person twice. The one person I loved, couldn't get past the way I look. She looked ill every time she looked in my direction, as if she couldn't believe she linked herself to a monster. We see each other on rare occasions, but it can't last- she is slender and stunning, and I am embarrassed for her that we are connected in any way.  Sometimes I hate her, for being born perfect and not knowing suffering- but that's not her fault, no more than it is mine that I am hideous. I just wish I had died at birth, and never known the truth, that there is nothing worth living for. Our lives are spelled out from conception, and nothing we can do changes anything.

The Rest Is Just Commentary.......

Been talking to my friend Usman on care2. He's from Pakistan, and we're email friends. He is a Muslim, and often sends me things about Islam, and bias against Muslims in the West. I am vaguely Jewish, so it seems an odd friendship, but I believe that religious bigotry is a real problem in my country, and no matter who it's against, it's wrong. You know that quote about Nazi Germany? The one that goes, "They came for the Communists, and I wasn't a Communist, so I remained silent. They came for the Jews, and I wasn't a Jew, so I remained silent......" it keeps going, group by group, and ends, "....when they came for me, there was no one left to speak up." That's true. I speak up for the Muslims because prejudice is prejudice, no matter whom it's against. I know things aren't all hunky dory in Jewish-Islamic relations, but here in the US, at least, we need to work together to bring about a pluralistic society.
In other news, as human beings, we all need to stop trying to ruin other peoples' days, just because we are cranky for some reason. I have encountered two people who were obviously feeling bad today, and both have gone out of their way to be nasty to me. One was the cashier at the grocery store, the other was a family member. I yelled back at the former, but only after she yelled first. The latter is currently driving me insane, sending texts about how everything in my life is entirely inane. I am texting back pleasantries, though I will confess, I know pleasantries are as irritating to cranky people as her meanness is to me. I wish she would stop texting and go depress someone else.....but, no such luck thus far. I am going to go get some sushi out of the fridge, have dinner, and answer in one syllable words.

Scattered, Random, and Totally Mundane

Not much to say today.....I need ink to print things (like this blog) and can't get a hold of Rick to lend me $50 for ink. I can pay him back Thursday, no big deal, but we're down to the last 3 days of the month, and I'm rather broke. I need paper too, and, for some odd reason I'm not even going to begin to explain, rubber cement.
Just got back from CVS.....my brother called with some interesting news. His new Torts professor at law school is Charlie Korsmo, who was a child star in the early nineties. We've seen Dick Tracy so many times, we have it memorized, so this was amusing to me. Other than that, well, I got my objectives at CVS, so it's quite the day.

Arwen and Hanna, Insieme Sempre

Does this explain where I've been?

Long Time Gone

Got a lot to do. After my Book of the Dead is done, wanting to start my tarot card project. Then maybe my one woman show based on the life of Mae West.....I have to get this house cleaned, get myself into some sort of routine, read a bizillion books, ARCHIVE my ass offf......
Ah, that above was all written before therapy and lunch. Now I just want to go back to sleep. I feel very weak, physically, and you know the old adage; "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." My platelets have dropped to 49, and while I'm not giving up, I realise I haven't got a lot here to work with.....I used to believe in miracles, but now I'm not so certain. If everything is taken from you, how can you ever come back with the same strength? Because then you know, it can all just blow away again......