I want to crawl under a rock and hide. I hate every fucking one of my friends. All three have let me down immeasurably. One is harassing me, one is ignoring me, and one.....I'm not even certain I still can consider her a friend. She was the closest to me, so it hurts the most. Still....I probably won't even survive the operation, if it ever occurs. If they decide the operation is too dangerous, then I'm taking matters into my own hands. I'm sick of living this passive life. Let me at least have some final strength in death.
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