"Funny when you're dead, how people start listening..."

In life, there is no one but yourself. Learned this today. There is no such thing as connecting with another person. We are all alone. So, you either learn to live in silence, or you leave. Anything resembling hope is ridiculous. I'm not sure, honestly, what my next move is. It may be suicide, or it may be a few more years spent seething in the shadows, hating everyone around me. At any rate, I don't want to go near other people. I'm not answering my phone, texting, calling, anything. I don't care anymore if I'm rude. The bottom line is, no one was ever there when I needed them, so they can all fuck off. "Take an ativan and sleep," I'm told, every time I get depressed. Why don't I just take the whole fucking bottle? Then, not only would I sleep, I might finally get some rest.