Clothing Optional

Trying something new here....going topless. I don't know, it just sounded fun.....

Not Drunk Enough

This is how I'm feeling today.....



Never been a girl who used to cry
Didn't show emotions, don't know why
Didn't wanna feel the pain inside, I guess

But as the years keep going by,
You came along and changed my mind
I should leave the past behind me,
I should let you find me,
Supposed to stay beside me
You were supposed to guide me,
Through the ups and downs,
You were always gonna be around until the end

I still think we could
'Cause you and me, we're good
And I'll tell you why this hurts, 'cause I'm sober

But I just wanna be drunk
So I can forget about you
And all the stupid things that love has pulled me through
Even when I've had too much,
I still feel your touch
Maybe this just means that I'm not drunk enough

So I'm gonna get myself another drink
Whenever I start to think about you
'Cause I do what I really don't want to
But sometimes my dreams just come through

And when I get there,
To a place where I see you in a kitchen
I stop wishing but that thing and I don't need you,
I don't really wanna see youAnd I don't want you to see me,
You would think that I was crazy,
You might think that I wanna be close to you
But I'd rather wanna drink some Whisky
And maybe have a little sip 'o wine
'Cause right now it's the only thing that makes me forget you are mine
But right now I am sober

But I just wanna be drunk
So I can forget about you
And all the stupid things that love has pulled me through
Even when I've had too much,
I still feel your touch
Maybe this just means that I'm not drunk enough

I still think we could
(I'm not drunk enough)
'Cause you and me, we're good
'Cause I'm sober

But I just wanna be drunk
So I can forget about you
And all the stupid things that love has pulled me through
Even when I've had too much,
I still feel your touch
Maybe this just means that I'm not drunk enough

(I still think we could)
But I just wanna be drunk
So I can forget about you
And all the stupid things that love has pulled me through
('cause you and me we're good)
Even when I've had too much,
I still feel your touch
Maybe this just means that I'm not drunk enough

Over!

Human Nature, by Madonna (This one is for my judgmental ex gf)

Express yourself, don't repress yourself (repeat 4 times)

Chorus:

And Im not sorry [Im not sorry]
Its human nature [its human nature]
And Im not sorry [Im not sorry]
Im not your bitch don't hang your shit on me [its human nature]

You wouldn't let me say the words I longed to say
You didn't want to see life through my eyes
[express yourself, don't repress yourself]
You tried to shove me back inside your narrow room
And silence me with bitterness and lies
[express yourself, don't repress yourself]

Did I say something wrong?
Oops, I didn't know I couldnt talk about sex
[i musta been crazy]
Did I stay too long?
Oops, I didn't know I couldnt speak my mind
[what was I thinking]

(chorus)

You punished me for telling you my fantasies
Im breakin all the rules I didn't make
[express yourself, don't repress yourself]
You took my words and made a trap for silly fools
You held me down and tried to make me break
[express yourself, don't repress yourself]

Bridge:

Did I say something true?
Oops, I didn't know I couldnt talk about sex
[i musta been crazy]
Did I have a point of view?
Oops, I didn't know I couldnt talk about you
[what was I thinking]

(chorus)

Express yourself, don't repress yourself (repeat twice)
Express yourself, don't repress yourself (repeat twice)

(bridge)
(chorus)

(chorus, with the following spoken substitutions)
[Im not apologizing]
[would it sound better if I were a man? ]
[youre the one with the problem]
[why don't you just deal with it]

(chorus, with the following spoken substitutions)
[would you like me better if I was? ]
[we all feel the same way]
[i have no regrets]
[just look in the mirror]

(chorus, with the following spoken substitutions)
[i don't have to justify anything]
[Im just like you]
[why should I be? ]
[deal with it]

Aleta

This is Aleta, one of our crabs, who is dying. Please pray for her comfort in this difficult period.

Portrait of a Katie

This is the portrait I did of Katie Reider yesterday. Not the greatest likeness, but I'm definitely an an amateur. Still, it was fun.

Niceness, or Some Semblence Of

My parents, who are by no means liberals, have this on their fridge. If we all stopped being so mean and judgmental, wouldn't the world be a better place? If we all looked deeper into each other, maybe we would find something we actually like. And, if not, we could all gang up on Paul Ryan and tp his house.......

Daddy

When I was 19, I was at a pretty low point. I was basically whoring around with guys who treated me like shit. Most of them wouldn't even be seen with me, presumably because of my weight. I used to play a lot of Tori Amos tapes in my dad's car as a teenager, and one day, he sat me down and spoke to me in the only language I would understand- the lyrics to Winter. "'When you gonna make up your mind?'" he said "'When you gonna love you as much as I do?'" And although I didn't change overnight, I still carry those words with me.

Bipolar

I am having a  bipolar night. How does one define that, exactly? You can't, exactly, because bipolar is so many things to so many people. You have your drama queens, your introverts....this meaningless label fades into that one. To me, it is that which prevents me from functioning in "normal" society. It's the random bouts of sleeping, the insomnia, the intense emotions only I seem to feel. I'm dysfunctional tonight. Secretly, do normal people wonder what it it is like to cross certain boundaries? I can say I've been to hell and back, and know it to be true. I hate all that bullshit about madness and genius, though. Mad geniuses are never geniuses for long- we burn out. No one can keep holding their soul to the fire forever.

Light My Fire

In a Doors mood tonight.....

Petey

My mum and her new dog, Petey.