Dinner Date

Not writing much today- I have a dinner date tonight. Just wanted to show off my date- "El Chico Del Appartamento 512!"

 

Last Cigarette

I quit smoking on the evening of 4 October 2015. I had to quit while I was hospitalized, and since my blood clot was probably at least partially caused by smoking, I decided to quit for good. The past 11 days have been great. I feel I am breathing better already, and with nicotine gum every now and then to curb the physical addiction, I really don't miss it. Hopefully I can even inspire others (like "El Chico Del Appartamento 512", who is now my boyfriend) to quit. He's being really supportive, and my parents are so proud of me. Life is really good right now, which is probably the reason I've been neglecting this blog. But I plan on posting again tomorrow.....

Into The Ocean

Not very creative tonight, but here's what is on my mind........

I'm just a normal boy
That sank when I fell overboard
My ship would leave the country
But I'd rather swim ashore
Without a life that's sadly stuck again
Wish I was much more masculine
Maybe then I could learn to swim
Like (fourteen miles away)

Now floating up and down
I spin, colliding into sound
Like whales beneath me diving down
I'm sinking to the bottom of my
Everything that freaks me out
The lighthouse beam has just run out
I'm cold as cold as cold can be
Be

[Chorus]
I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up and take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion
Let the rain of what I feel right now come down
Let the rain come down

Where is the coast guard?
I keep looking each direction
For a spotlight give me something
I need something for protection
Maybe flotsam junk will do just fine
The jets; I'm sunk; I'm left behind
I'm treading for my life, believe me
(How can I keep up this breathing?)

Not knowing how to think
I scream aloud, begin to sink
My legs and arms are broken down
With envy for the solid ground
I'm reaching for the life within me
How can one man stop his ending?
I thought of just your face
Relaxed, and floated into space

[Chorus]

Now waking to the sun
I calculate what I had done
Like jumping from the bow, yeah
Just to prove that I knew how, yeah
It's midnight's late reminder of
The loss of her, the one I love
My will to quickly end it all
So thought no end my need to fall

Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all

Into the ocean (goodbye), end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye), end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye), end it all (goodbye)

[Chorus]

Into the ocean (goodbye), end it all (goodbye)
(Into space)
Into the ocean (goodbye), end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye), end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye), end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye), end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye), end it all (goodbye)
(I thought of just your face)
Into the ocean (goodbye), end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye), end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye), end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye), end it all (goodbye)

Songwriters
JUSTIN FURSTENFELD

=
 

The hospital, and beyond

This will be a quick update, as I am not feeling exactly great this morning. Last week I was hospitalized with a blood clot in my liver. The probable cause? The combination of one of my meds, and my terrible smoking habit. I've been taken off of the medication.....and I have now been over 7 days senza sigarette. I find nicotine gum rather tasty, but I know I'll have to stop that, too, eventually. Since I've come home, I suppose I've been more agreeable. Nicole and I even ended our feud, although I'm beginning to regret that one, for reasons I won't get into, here.
So, that's my summary of the past week or so. I'm kind of numb. I guess I'm afraid to feel anything, with everything changing so rapidly....